I too, have had very special "spirit animals" die and I still get tearful thinking about them all these years later. I also have two senior Doberman Pinschers who both have multiple ailments, and I know the heartbreaking goodbyes will be sooner rather than later. These animals are connected to us. They are linked to us in our hearts and spirits. This is why it is so painful to see them suffer, to have them die, and also why the memories of these creatures stay with us forever.
This is Phoebe. She is my mom's dog. Mom died just over seven weeks ago. Phoebe is a 12 year old Golden Doodle who was so bonded to Mom that when Mom left, even for just a short while, Phoebe would wait by the door-unmoving. When Mom was in extra pain, or the hospital with her cancer, Phoebe would get sick too. When Mom was doing okay, Phoebe was okay. They were symbiotic.
The hope for Mom's death was for her to be able to die at home under the care of Hospice. If this had been able to happen, Phoebe would have been a part of Mom's dying experience. Instead, Mom died in the hospital, and Phoebe was waiting by the door.
The weeks following Mom's death, Phoebe was very depressed. She was listless and looking all around the house for Mom, she suffered intestinal trauma, paced around and slept a lot. These are also signs of human grief. Dad decided that Phoebe should have Mom's pillow-the one item that still really maintained her personal fragrance-Phoebe immediately cuddled down on it, and fell to sleep.
Not only are we attached to our animal friends, but they are truly and unconditionally attached to us. We feel aching grief at the loss of our special companion, and I know for sure that they can grieve and mourn the loss of their human as well.
We brought Phoebe to Mom's memorial service last week and she was a grounding point for the entire family, she asked for cuddles, gave kisses and made us smile through our tears.
I am certain that Phoebe still misses Mom, and her health has been up and down in the past weeks-but she has her pillow and she has Dad, and he has her.
Dad with Phoebe at Webb Lake
